Photo: OMG how dare you! by Lucía Ferro

First of all, I am going to speak about these two subjects from a European point of view since I am Spanish and I have lived in different EU countries. I wanted to clarify this because I understand that both jobs are seen in very different ways depending on your origin and experiences. I am also going to identify myself with a feminist and I am going to happily hear other opinions.

Money

I have probably heard a million times that nursing is a very rewarding job. Of course, you do it because you have this incredible deep vocation towards care. Because, you know, specially if you are a woman, you are meant to love caring for others. I didn’t want to say it, but… female instint… Bullshit. Maybe you chose nursing because you like biology and all those medical stuff. Maybe you even find in nursing that human contact that you seek. But, let’s be real, nursing nowadays is not about caring anymore, it’s about keeping your patients alive until the next team comes and takes over. So, yeah, you are just there for the money because if you really care about your patients your instints are to start shouting at your boss asking them to put more nurses on the job. What I am trying to say is that maybe, each case is different, but maybe, prostitution would give nurses more money. Just saying…

Bad hours

Now, this one is outrageous. Believe me when I say I would rather put on a nice dress, make up and all that jazz and go out for some drinks than to be like a zombie searching for tablets in the dark or jumping every time a lost patient asks for directions from behind a curtain. Nurses don’t have those free period days. When a prostitute has her period, well, she has an excuse. When a nurse has a bit of fever, well, she has lots of colleges talking about her laziness. It’s not because they don’t have good relationships, usually it’s the boss who puts that kind of thoughts on them. “If she really has a fever, of course I don’t want her to come. But, does she? Or is it just a headache?” You know what! I have something to say. If a nurse has a headache she should be entitle to have a day of rest. And you know why? Because nurses have to deal with lots of headaches that are not really their problem. So I would say, before they are ready to handle anyone’s health, we all have to make sure that those lazy nurses get their shit together and get rid of their fake-headache.

Working environment

Hear it comes. This is the right moment for you feminist to tell me I don’t know shit about what a woman deals with when she has to work as a prostitute. To be fear, I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes. And being honest, working as a nurse almost made me go crazy so I guess I would agree with you guys and say I don’t know shit about it. But just because I love giving my opinion I am going to say that a nurse hears plenty of sexual quotes that you wouldn’t expect to hear in a hospital. Also, nurses deal with very weird stuff like people hallucinating or bleeding like in a Tarantino movie. Nobody tells you about it until it’s too late for you to run and find another passion. Let’s admit it, nurses. We just trick people into thinking that nursing it’s a beautiful job just because we need more people on it.

And that’s just one more reason to criticize nursing. Everybody in the hospital is trying to survive the day. Very few people can actually handle it like pros, so very few people help you without neglecting their on health. Sometimes you get helped but mostly because there is this tribe kind a thing where a certain group of nurses have their own club and they help each other and of course, again, they talk bad about the other tribes. Just the same kind of bullshit you get in any other job.

Dignity

And the last but not least: Dignity. The word that seems to solve so many religious problems and makes us think that nursing is far from prostitution. According to the Cambridge Dictionary dignity can be “the importance and value that a person has, that makes other people respect them or makes them respect themselves”. I agree with it. To me it is all about respect.

In the other hand, if we search in a religious dictionary like the Merriam-Webster we find a slightly different definition: “the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed”. In this case we don’t have an answer about who is judging you, but I would imagine they think is God. Just a big guy dealing respect cards to people.

Dignity in prostitution is constantly questioned. Why I woman would give pleasure to another human being just for the fun of it? Why would she do oral sex if she doesn’t like the guy? Why would she prefer to do this job than to work as… a nurse? Maybe because when you are a nurse you have to clean someones ass just for fun. And not only their ass, also you have to clean all those tubes that go up there while the disorientated patient yells at you because he thinks you are raping him. Or worse, you have to make sure he keeps his hands in his pockets because you don’t want another unwanted slap in your ass. Why would she prefer to do this job than to work as a nurse?

My answer is clear

Let those girls do whatever they want. Just make sure you properly regulate their job conditions so they are not in a dangerous work environment.